Friday, December 30, 2011
Dax: "How did Walt Disney get enough money to build Disney World?"
Dad: "He made lots of money from some movies he made, and also had investors."
Mom: "Yeah, he made movies about Mickey Mouse."
Kade: "Well that's funny huh, because now Mickey works at Disney World!"
Darcy: "Duh Kade, you know that Mickey Mouse isn't REAL right? He is just a person in a costume."
Mom: "That's perfect! I guess that means that we won't have to spend any of our precious vacation time waiting in line to get autographs then, right Darce?"
I don't remember her exact response to that, but I'm pretty sure it amounted to "Nice try, Mom." Guess I better start gearing up to stand in some lines!!!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Kade (4) says to Dax (6): "I can't punch you now because Mom is watching but when I'm older than you I am going to beat you up!"
Dax: "You are never going to be older than me."
Kade: "Yah huh. When I'm a dad."
Dax: "Nope, sorry. By the time you're a dad I'm going to be a grandpa!"
Kyanna: "Well, I'm going to be a Mom and they are really the boss, so I am going to beat you both up!"
I'm glad at least one of them knows who the real boss is around here. :)
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
This particular scenario was happening on my last day of school the first year I was a teacher. I was feeling happy that I had survived my first year, only losing half my hair instead of all of it! I was feeling a bit sad to let my first year kiddos go - they were mine and to think of giving them to another teacher was a bit heartbreaking. (yes - teachers DO love your children - even the stinkers!) All the desks in my classroom were pushed to the sides, all the art was off the walls, children were armed with their backpacks and lunch boxes, and we were all impatiently waiting for the bell of summer to ring. One little boy, who had a lot of energy and didn't know how to contain it, was rambunciously crawling under all the desks that were pushed against the wall. He knew he shouldn't be doing this - not only had I told the students 10 times that day not to do it, but I'd told them at least a hundred times during the school year that we don't crawl around under desks. Finally, I said, "Billy, you need to get out from under the desks. You know this is against the rules. (At this point I'm trying to think of some type of consequence, but having difficulty as there is only 1.863 minutes left of the school year.) So I continue, "You are not making a good choice. I hope that next time you can make a better choice." (lightweight - I know) A few seconds later I hear him mutter to himself. "Wait - There's not going to be a next time!" And proceeds to continue crawling under desks. Lovely. Good thing I was saved by the bell because once it rang little Billy was outta there and moving onto bigger and better things.
So - to all of you who are ready for 2012...live up 2011 as much as possible because time is dwindling! Eat what you want, don't exercise, be lazy, watch a lot of trashy TV, don't clean your house, spend as much money as you feel like, and crawl under those desks like a crazy person because very shortly our goals are going to get in the way of our fun again.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
gifts from students. I always felt spoiled and appreciated, and it seemed as if the students really took
pride in giving their teacher a gift.
In my 2.5 years of teaching I was more than spoiled. I’m not sure if the parents of my students could
tell how stressed out I was, or if I had just tricked them into thinking I was the most amazing teacher
around, because they loved to give me exuberant gifts and let’s be real – I wasn’t complaining! Because
of this, I got a Christmas gift from almost everyone in the class. I remember my first year the kids
being so excited to bring their present to me, and getting even more excited when I opened it up.
Unfortunately, this made the few kids who didn’t get me a gift feel insecure and a little embarrassed.
This one little boy in my class would come up to me each morning as other children were giving me gifts
and offer me a trinket , eraser, pencil, or other toy that he had brought to school months ago, which
I had probably taken away at some point and given back to him on the premise that I never wanted
to see it again, to which he decided to just hide it in the dark depths of his tote tray. Each morning it
would be a new “gift” from him, and by the end of the day each day he had asked for it back. “Oh, well
I REALLY like that pencil. It is nice and shiny, um….” Or “Well, I actually really want that eraser. I think
my mom bought it for me instead of you.” Or “I have something else for you at home, can I have my
unidentifiable playdough person that I made in kindergarten back?” Ok – so maybe that last one was
a stretch, but really – he always asked for the things back, and I don’t blame the kid! As much as he
wanted to give me a gift, he wanted to keep his own “junk” even more. Bless his heart!!!
Now the dilemma – Christmas break is only a few days away, and to avoid the previously mentioned
situation, but you are wondering what to give to your student’s teacher or if you need to even bother,
here’s a few words of wisdom. Okay – many words of wisdom.
Yes – you should get your child’s teacher a Christmas gift. I’m not saying this because I am a present
whore – although feel free to bring me one if you want. I’m saying this because your child’s teacher
takes care of them for most of your child’s waking hours. They help your child learn. They show
patience to your child long after you, their own parent, would have lost it on them. They wipe tears
when your student cries, helps them be brave, and teaches them how to be independent and function
without YOU by their side. They teach your child social skills, how to be a friend, and how to work with
others. They get paid next to nothing, spend their own money so your child can have a fun experience
at school or make a fun project, and work 10 hour days every day of the week, and that doesn’t include
the work they take home, the sleepless nights they spend worrying about your student, and the
weekends they use to prepare for the upcoming week of teaching. Next to you, there probably isn’t
a more influential adult that they interact with on a daily basis than their teacher. Yes – I know these
things are part of a teacher’s job and what they get paid for, BUT, teachers barely get paid enough to
provide their own families a very modest Christmas, and a little appreciation from you goes a very long
way. Trust me.
So – what to get your child’s teacher? It doesn’t have to be big or extravagant. Here are some
suggestions based on price range.
FREE – Give your child’s teacher your family’s holiday card. I LOVED getting these. Write a personal
note to the teacher and tell them they are appreciated. Tell them why you like them – and be specific.
Have your child participate in this and draw a picture and write something too. I really loved getting
this type of thing. Teaching is a thankless job sometimes and it feels good to know that you are
$1 – whatever you are giving to your neighbors – add your teacher to that list too! Homemade goodies
are great, and what’s one more plate? I used to always snack on these the during the day the week
before Christmas. YUMMY!
$5 – a FAVORITE of mine is a caramel apple. I love that it is a spin on the traditional apple for teacher. I
had a parent bring me one of these when they came to parent conferences my first year of teaching. To
this day, I still appreciate that gesture SO MUCH. It’s a great gift for teacher anytime of the year.
$10 – A few times I’ve had parents bring me lunch. What a way to make your child’s teacher feel
special! Make sure you schedule it before hand and know what time lunch is so that the teacher can
enjoy it. I always appreciated the thoughtfulness of this and especially for the time spent picking up the
lunch and bringing it to school.
$15 and up – If you want to do something big for your child’s teacher a gift card is a great way to go.
Movie theaters, restaurants, and Target are good ones. I’ve been given many gift cards and have always
loved it! Just the other day I used a gift card a parent gave me last year for the movies, and I was so
grateful and thinking of that student and parent the whole time. (THANKS JEN!!!)
Here’s a few other ideas…Soap, lotion, candles --Teachers get A LOT of these things. We like these
things, but just know that every other kid in the class will give this to teacher too – so if you are looking
for something original, don’t go with this one.
Something handmade by you or your student. --It’s ok if it is made by a first grader – teacher will still
Candy or soda -- don’t be afraid to ask teacher what he/she likes!
Under NO circumstance should you ever give your child’s teacher something that says 2 teach is 2 touch
lives 4 ever. We don’t like those things or anything that says “world’s best teacher” or anything else like
that. We know you mean well, and don’t feel bad if you have past offenses in this area. Now is always
a good time to change…you can do it! And while we’re on the subject – school supplies aren’t really a
good teacher gift either. They are appreciated – I promise. BUT, it’s like giving your mom windex or
your dad disposable razors for Christmas. Will they get used? Yes, but is it a good “gift”? Not so much.
School supplies should be donated at various times during the school year – but not Christmas. Sorry.
All that being said – do not feel pressure to do anything extravagant. Put in some thought and call it
good. And don’t think that the bigger the present you give your child’s teacher the more they will like
your child. Sometimes not even a great gift can make a teacher like your kid. JUST KIDDING!!! Think
simple – stay in a price range you feel comfortable – and whatever gift you choose will go over well with
Monday, December 19, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Anyway, yesterday Daxton just happened to "mention" to grandma that for Christmas he would really like an ipod or some vinyl stickers for his wall (neither of which are things she has purchased). She asked him why he was telling her, and didn't he see all those presents she had sent home for him? He looked at her and replied, "Oh yeah, I saw them! That's why I'm telling you. Because your name is Grandma and YOU have a shopping problem!"
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
This is my baby sister Kristen with two of my babies at the rodeo (I have no idea who the bearded guy behind her is, or the red shirt guy, or the kid). We were born four years apart almost to the day. I am four years smarter and she is four years better looking. I'm not sure I got the best end of that deal. Kristen used to teach first grade before she had a baby and decided to stay home and teach piano instead. She has tons of funny stories, kid projects and parent tips from her time teaching and she is going to be sharing them with us every Tuesday! I am so excited I can hardly stand it!!! But that could also be because Christmas is coming!!! Hooray!!! How many exclamation points can I use in one post?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here is her very first Teacher Tuesday post...
One morning, I was doing a reading test on a student. I pick a story from the testing kit that I feel is on his reading level, have him read it, time him, record errors, and then at the end check comprehension by asking a series of pre-determined questions.
This particular story was about the zoo. Each page had a few sentences about an animal. "This is a giraffe. Baby giraffes can walk on the same day they are born." "This is a penguin. A penguin cannot fly, but it has wings." etc... The student did a great job reading and had hardly any errors. After he finished, I began asking the comprehension questions. This would be a breeze - or so I thought...
Me: "Billy, (name changed) what did you learn about the animals at the zoo?"
Billy: Nothing. I already knew all those things. (typical first grade answer)
Me: "Can you tell me any of them."
Billy: Well I don't really remember now. (how convenient)
Me: "Ok, do you remember anything about the story?"
Billy: Not really. (Did I forget to mention that this particular student sounds EXACTLY like Froggy from The Little Rascals?)
Things are NOT going well. (Just goes to show that your child might be able to read every word in the book but it doesn't count for anything if he/she can't remember a lick of it!)
I try to move onto an easier question - one that will require less factual knowledge.
Me: "Why do you think the author wrote a book about zoo animals?"
Billy: Because he likes going to the zoo (Now we're getting somewhere!)
Me: "Why do you think people like to go to the zoo?" (I'm sure he can make a connection here...)
Billy: Well, you know those long skinny things that are covered in cinnamon and sugar?"
Me: "A churro?"
Billy: Yeah - that's why I go to the zoo.
Me too, Billy. Me too.
Ha Ha Thanks Kris! Boy it is super annoying that the font has got white behind it. Does anyone know how to cut and paste these things without that occurring? I will work on that. I guess I could always just type it all out. I doubt that's going to happen. Did I mention that I am four years lazier?
Monday, December 12, 2011
Some items however, require more time spent shopping and less time spent waiting in line to pay, so for those items I have to make a trip back to the store. The other day I was in Walmart perusing the aisles for the perfect gift for my almost 3 year old niece. It needed to be a combination of something cute she would love and something with as many annoying noises as possible as payback for all the years I had to put up with my smelly brother (And I found it! Oh Yeah!) While I was there, I found a new brand of doll that you will not want to miss this year!
The problem I have with dolls these days is that they all give girls an unrealistic sense of how they should look and act. Case in point...
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Darcy: "Mom, if everybody can only take one sacrament bread, what do they do with all the leftovers? Does somebody eat it or do they feed it to the ducks? Cuz I'm still really hungry..."
Mom: "Dax, what did you learn in Sunbeams today?"
Dax: "About Adam and Eve"
Mom: "Tell me what you learned about Adam and Eve"
Dax: "They are dead."
Mom: "Yeah, What else?"
Dax: "Well, they had circle faces, and they lived on a rock, and Adam growed trees. And they stole food from Heavenly Father that they weren't supposed to eat. I think it was a tomato."
Saturday, December 10, 2011
For my birthday my husband is paying his brother Aaron to tile a gorgeous back splash in our kitchen. Aaron just got married last month to a really fun girl named Kristen. I also have a sister named Kristen, so my kids are really psyched that they now have two Auntie Kristens.
The other night after staying late to tile, my brother in law stashed his equipment in my garage before he left to go home. When Dax saw it in the morning, he immediately began searching all the rooms in our house...
Darcy: "Dax, what are you looking for?"
Dax: "Uncle Aaron, all his stuff is in the garage. Where did he sleep? Let's wake him up!"
Darcy: "He went home. He slept in his bed with Auntie Kristen."
and then a few minutes later..."Which Auntie Kristen?"
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Dax made friends with his classroom aide today at school. He told me "I asked her how old she was and she told me she is 68! I told her "Wow that's old! But don't worry, I know one person even older than you! It's my dad's grandma...but she died."
Two of Daxton's spelling words this week are chunk and hunk. He told me "Well that should be easy to remember! You're a chunk and I'm a hunk!"
Today Kyanna wasn't paying attention to where she was going and ran straight into the wall. She immediately turned to yell at me "MOM! You can't put a wall there! You hurt my head!" How could I have been so stupid?!!
I am such a proud mother...I loaded Kade, Kyanna, and the neighbor girl into the car this morning and then ran back inside to get my purse. When I got back to the car Kade announced "Mom guess what? We have been talking about it and all three of us love to eat our boogers! They are sooo yummy!"
My 8 year old just asked us if she can have a sweet sixteen party when she turns 16. Thinking she meant something like the ones on tv, we told her only if it wasn't too expensive. She said she was considering "either a twilight party, where they watch all the twilight movies, or taking a few friends to Classic skating." Ha ha! Absolutely!
Kyanna just came in to tell me that Kade needed his bum wiped, "but don't worry, I did it for him." Hmmm...maybe I should go check that out
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
I find it ridiculous that my kids would be perfectly content to sit for hours and pet a hamster, but the mere thought of a possible run in with a mouse gives them nightmares for days (although my oldest also got nightmares from watching the preview of Johnny Depp's Alice in Wonderland, and the first ten minutes of "Passage to Zarahemla"). And I am definitely not going down there myself. I won't even pet the hamster.
So, since Dax is usually the oldest man present when I happen to need something from the food storage room he usually gets to take one for the team and go fetch the item. This morning it was a box of cereal. Thankfully he had a plan. He went armed, made himself look as ferocious as possible, and let out a scream that could be heard down the block.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
My three year old is fiesty. Yesterday we were eating lunch at a restaurant when she announced she needed to use the restroom. It was within our eyesight so I asked Darcy to take her and help her go potty. I started to get an uneasy feeling when I watched Darcy come out of the women's restroom several times without her sister, but I could clearly hear a strange version of Jingle Bells being shouted from the stalls. Finally both girls walked out together but Kyanna had a look on her face like she meant some serious business. She marched up to the table and without any warning pulled her pants and undies down around her ankles, turned around and stuck her bare peachy bum up at my face and yelled "Look Mom! Darcy would not wipe by butt and now I have POOP STAINS!"
It turns out that Darcy has decided that other peoples excrement makes her vomit. I didn't even have to ask if they remembered to wash their hands.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Kyanna "Someday I'm going to be a mom when I grow up"
Kade "Yeah, and someday I'm going to be a dad. But being a dad isn't any fun."
Kyanna "I think its fun. Why not?"
Kade "Well, only one part is fun. And that is that when you are working you get to eat ALL the sharp cheese you want and you don't have to share with your kids even when they say pretty pretty please."
Sounds like I need to talk to Asiel about learning to share his food. :)
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Here's hoping you enjoy this season with your families, and remember the true reason we celebrate Christmas!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Once upon a time there were two little boys who both picked a treat from Grandma’s cupboard as they were leaving to head home. Kade’s was a sugar free chocolate square which upon driving away he promptly opened, took a single bite, and then clutched it into his sweaty palm until it melted into oblivion (or all over his carseat). Daxton’s was a fun size pack of M&Ms that he decided to save and enjoy when he got home.
But alas, in a moment of distraction, Daxton left his package of M&Ms lying unprotected on the table just long enough that as he turned to begin devouring them he discovered that Kade had already ripped the package open and the first M&M was heading for his mouth. Panic stricken, Dax screamed for Kade to drop the booty, then he socked him for good measure. Darcy didn’t think that was nice, so she took it upon herself to lay one on Daxton. Sobbing, they all entered into a long debate on who was right, who was wrong, and who was going to be getting nothing from Santa this year. In the meantime, Kyanna helped herself to the entire package of M&Ms.
Poor Dax cried and cried. He cried while Darcy got her pajamas on. He cried while Mom pulled his pajamas on. He cried while Kade got a clean diaper and pajamas on. He cried right over the changing table while Kyanna was getting her pajamas on. He cried so hard that he dripped a huge snot blob right onto Kyanna’s naked belly. Then they all laughed.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
In January 2009 we took a once in a lifetime trip with my family to Hawaii. Some of my best and funniest memories come from that week. Poor Kade had Type I Diabetes but had not been diagnosed yet, so he was miserable and crying the whole week, but we still had a blast. Darcy was 5, Dax was 3, Kade was 18 months and Kyanna was six months old. Darcy was quite shy around adults as a little girl, but Dax was super precocious (and loud!) and felt the need to talk to every random stranger that he saw. Here are some of my favorites from that trip...
On the airplane, Dax and Asiel sat in front of some LDS missionaries. Dax was chatting with them and they told him that their job was to teach people about Jesus Christ. They asked him if he had any questions for them and his response was "Oh yeah, I've been wondering about this forever! So what is Jesus Christ's middle name anyway? Is it God?"
One of the hotels we stayed at was a very tall hotel with a very slow elevator so there was always a huge crowd of people waiting to get on. One morning we were headed to the beach so we were all waiting at the elevator in our swimsuits with a bunch of other hotel guests. Out of the blue Dax announced to the crowd "Hey guess what?!!! I'm not wearing any underwear today! My swimsuit has something in it that's kind of like unders, so my mom said I don't have to wear mine!"
Two seconds after stopping at a gas station Dax started yelling “I have to pee. DON’T COME OUT, DON’T COME OUT! I’m peeing.” So Asiel started yelling “YOU BETTER NOT PEE IN THE RENTAL CAR. HOLD IT! WE JUST LEFT THE BATHROOM.” Dax: “Too late I peed. I already did it.” That was super fun to clean up...
One day we ate at a restaurant called Rosie's Cantina. It made my dad sick and he spent the rest of the day singing this song:
I fell in love with a Mexican Girl
We went out to eat at old Rosie's Cantina
She poisoned me and I went home to hurl!
At a beautiful Buddhist temple one afternoon Dax started visiting with an elderly couple and telling them about our vacation. They asked him what he thought of the temple. He replied "Oh it's pretty fun. But we don't believe in Buddha. We believe in Jesus and Santa Claus."
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Because I am always running errands and it is an easy way to post on the go, lots of my kids' antics get posted to facebook first. Here are a few from earlier this year...
Darcy is selling a bunch of crap from her room in a store she is calling "Justice." Tonight she tried to get me to pay her $20 for a pillow she got at a yard sale last week for 75 cents. When I told her she was nuts she told me "Justice is expensive mom. We have overhead."
Going to hike donut falls with the family this morning, and while we are waiting to leave I told the kids to pack a "hiking backpack" to bring. Darcy packed snacks, water, and a first aid kit. Dax packed nothing but markers, "In case somebody on the trail wanted his autograph."
Today at the Seven Peaks wave pool I told Kyanna she had to hold tight to my hand so she wouldn't drown. She told me "No Mom! I'm a big girl now. I can drown all by myself!"
Just overheard my almost 4 year old yell at my almost 3 year old "Get outta my face! You're a big disgrace!" Where do they come up with this stuff?!!!
Yesterday Kyanna got lazy and had an accident in her pants and because she has been fully potty trained for a few weeks now, I got frustrated with her. I told her I was going to call the Easter Bunny and tell him he didn't need to bring her anything this year. She looked at me with her "whatever mom" look and said "Bunnies don't talk."
Darcy got baptized yesterday and last night Kade said to her "So Darcy, I bet you feel a whole lot better now that all that really naughty stuff you did got washed off."
I love reading about funny things that happened that I had forgotten about. And look at my adorable chunky boy! I could just eat him right up...but I will pass on the raisins thanks!
I am writing a disclaimer right now at the very top of this post. It is going to be gross and its going to talk about poop. So if you have an issue with reading about those things, you should stop reading now. I however, have two children in diapers, and two other children who frequently forget to flush the toilet and sometimes need help wiping, and a very big butt of my own to live with. So I deal with a LOT of poop. And throw up and boogers. I have a very strong stomach for these things. So I can write about poop all day long. Poop poop poop.
Anyway, the raisins… Kade likes to eat. A lot. And as we have been on vacation all week, we have not gone to the grocery store, so yesterday we were somewhat limited on healthy snacks to feed him. But we have a big bag of raisins, which while I think they are gross (unless they are covered in a whole bunch of chocolate or surrounded in cookie), he seems to like. So he got those for his snack at church. He doesn’t bother to chew, he just swallows them whole, so he can go through a bunch pretty quick. Then later, I put him in his high chair while I made dinner, and I gave him another little handful to eat so he wouldn’t whine. But apparently, everyone else had the same idea, because Darcy gave him some, and my mom gave him some and he ended up eating more raisins than anyone should eat.
So today I have found out a curious thing about raisins. Have you ever noticed that when you eat corn you can chew and chew and no matter how much you chew, it always ends up in the toilet in its resurrected state, nice and whole again? Well, I’m not claiming Kade chewed because I know he didn’t, but apparently raisins also do not digest. But they go one step further in the amazing resurrection process, because not only do they come out in one piece, but they come out as grapes! I am writing this post in hopes that I will remember this amazing trick and never overfeed raisins to any of my kids again.