Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Need a babysitter?

I've come to a sad realization this week.  My three year old daughter has an unhealthy love for babies...

But some good news!  Grandma got smart this year...finally a baby she can't break!

Here's hoping you enjoy this season with your families, and remember the true reason we celebrate Christmas!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Not it!

My kids are all quick to point blame at anyone other than themselves.  As soon as I give them a chore to do, I almost always hear "I didn't do it!"  After several hours of being gone today I came home to find a dog poop on the kitchen floor.  I had to laugh when my eight year old tried to get out of cleaning it up by yelling "But Mom!  It wasn't me!"

Life Story

This was a post that I published on my family blog in November two years ago, so Darcy was 6, Dax was 4, Kade was 2, and Kyanna was 1.  Dax used to have such an awful temper...he would throw tantrums all the time and I remember one day when he threw a pair of scissors at Darcy's face and I thought I was going to have to call Super Nanny!  Thankfully, he has grown out of that and he is possibly our easiest and most well behaved kid these days.

Once upon a time there were two little boys who both picked a treat from Grandma’s cupboard as they were leaving to head home. Kade’s was a sugar free chocolate square which upon driving away he promptly opened, took a single bite, and then clutched it into his sweaty palm until it melted into oblivion (or all over his carseat). Daxton’s was a fun size pack of M&Ms that he decided to save and enjoy when he got home.

But alas, in a moment of distraction, Daxton left his package of M&Ms lying unprotected on the table just long enough that as he turned to begin devouring them he discovered that Kade had already ripped the package open and the first M&M was heading for his mouth. Panic stricken, Dax screamed for Kade to drop the booty, then he socked him for good measure. Darcy didn’t think that was nice, so she took it upon herself to lay one on Daxton. Sobbing, they all entered into a long debate on who was right, who was wrong, and who was going to be getting nothing from Santa this year. In the meantime, Kyanna helped herself to the entire package of M&Ms.

Poor Dax cried and cried. He cried while Darcy got her pajamas on. He cried while Mom pulled his pajamas on. He cried while Kade got a clean diaper and pajamas on. He cried right over the changing table while Kyanna was getting her pajamas on. He cried so hard that he dripped a huge snot blob right onto Kyanna’s naked belly. Then they all laughed.

The end.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Hawaii 2009

The kids with their Hawaiian cousins

In January 2009 we took a once in a lifetime trip with my family to Hawaii. Some of my best and funniest memories come from that week. Poor Kade had Type I Diabetes but had not been diagnosed yet, so he was miserable and crying the whole week, but we still had a blast. Darcy was 5, Dax was 3, Kade was 18 months and Kyanna was six months old. Darcy was quite shy around adults as a little girl, but Dax was super precocious (and loud!) and felt the need to talk to every random stranger that he saw. Here are some of my favorites from that trip...

On the airplane, Dax and Asiel sat in front of some LDS missionaries. Dax was chatting with them and they told him that their job was to teach people about Jesus Christ. They asked him if he had any questions for them and his response was "Oh yeah, I've been wondering about this forever! So what is Jesus Christ's middle name anyway? Is it God?"

One of the hotels we stayed at was a very tall hotel with a very slow elevator so there was always a huge crowd of people waiting to get on. One morning we were headed to the beach so we were all waiting at the elevator in our swimsuits with a bunch of other hotel guests. Out of the blue Dax announced to the crowd "Hey guess what?!!! I'm not wearing any underwear today! My swimsuit has something in it that's kind of like unders, so my mom said I don't have to wear mine!"

Two seconds after stopping at a gas station Dax started yelling “I have to pee. DON’T COME OUT, DON’T COME OUT! I’m peeing.” So Asiel started yelling “YOU BETTER NOT PEE IN THE RENTAL CAR. HOLD IT! WE JUST LEFT THE BATHROOM.” Dax: “Too late I peed. I already did it.” That was super fun to clean up...

One day we ate at a restaurant called Rosie's Cantina. It made my dad sick and he spent the rest of the day singing this song:
Out in the West Texas town of El Paso,
I fell in love with a Mexican Girl
We went out to eat at old Rosie's Cantina
She poisoned me and I went home to hurl!
Darcy spent the rest of the day saying "Why does everything around me smell like cheese? Every time I burp or fart it smells like cheese soup!"

At a beautiful Buddhist temple one afternoon Dax started visiting with an elderly couple and telling them about our vacation. They asked him what he thought of the temple. He replied "Oh it's pretty fun. But we don't believe in Buddha. We believe in Jesus and Santa Claus."

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Summer 2011 Facebook Posts

Because I am always running errands and it is an easy way to post on the go, lots of my kids' antics get posted to facebook first. Here are a few from earlier this year...

Darcy is selling a bunch of crap from her room in a store she is calling "Justice." Tonight she tried to get me to pay her $20 for a pillow she got at a yard sale last week for 75 cents. When I told her she was nuts she told me "Justice is expensive mom. We have overhead."

Going to hike donut falls with the family this morning, and while we are waiting to leave I told the kids to pack a "hiking backpack" to bring. Darcy packed snacks, water, and a first aid kit. Dax packed nothing but markers, "In case somebody on the trail wanted his autograph."

Today at the Seven Peaks wave pool I told Kyanna she had to hold tight to my hand so she wouldn't drown. She told me "No Mom! I'm a big girl now. I can drown all by myself!"

Just overheard my almost 4 year old yell at my almost 3 year old "Get outta my face! You're a big disgrace!" Where do they come up with this stuff?!!!

Yesterday Kyanna got lazy and had an accident in her pants and because she has been fully potty trained for a few weeks now, I got frustrated with her. I told her I was going to call the Easter Bunny and tell him he didn't need to bring her anything this year. She looked at me with her "whatever mom" look and said "Bunnies don't talk."

Darcy got baptized yesterday and last night Kade said to her "So Darcy, I bet you feel a whole lot better now that all that really naughty stuff you did got washed off."

Beware of Raisins!!!

This was a post I originally published on our family blog in October 2008. I will warn you now it shares WAY TMI! But that is the beauty of a blog!

I love reading about funny things that happened that I had forgotten about. And look at my adorable chunky boy! I could just eat him right up...but I will pass on the raisins thanks!

I am writing a disclaimer right now at the very top of this post. It is going to be gross and its going to talk about poop. So if you have an issue with reading about those things, you should stop reading now. I however, have two children in diapers, and two other children who frequently forget to flush the toilet and sometimes need help wiping, and a very big butt of my own to live with. So I deal with a LOT of poop. And throw up and boogers. I have a very strong stomach for these things. So I can write about poop all day long. Poop poop poop.

Anyway, the raisins… Kade likes to eat. A lot. And as we have been on vacation all week, we have not gone to the grocery store, so yesterday we were somewhat limited on healthy snacks to feed him. But we have a big bag of raisins, which while I think they are gross (unless they are covered in a whole bunch of chocolate or surrounded in cookie), he seems to like. So he got those for his snack at church. He doesn’t bother to chew, he just swallows them whole, so he can go through a bunch pretty quick. Then later, I put him in his high chair while I made dinner, and I gave him another little handful to eat so he wouldn’t whine. But apparently, everyone else had the same idea, because Darcy gave him some, and my mom gave him some and he ended up eating more raisins than anyone should eat.

So today I have found out a curious thing about raisins. Have you ever noticed that when you eat corn you can chew and chew and no matter how much you chew, it always ends up in the toilet in its resurrected state, nice and whole again? Well, I’m not claiming Kade chewed because I know he didn’t, but apparently raisins also do not digest. But they go one step further in the amazing resurrection process, because not only do they come out in one piece, but they come out as grapes! I am writing this post in hopes that I will remember this amazing trick and never overfeed raisins to any of my kids again.